Easter Time

All of the funeral flowers are gone, so I put a vase with some pink roses and an Easter basket on her grave. It is still unmarked so I wrote her name on the vase. I will badger the cemetery about getting the temporary marker in place tomorrow. I am still designing the permanent monument. It needs to be very special, like April, so I will take plenty of time to get the design just perfect. I have visited several monument stores and have looked around at markers in different cemeteries for inspiration. I have some really neat ideas. (FYI, a "marker" is flush with the ground and a "monument" is upright. I am learning all kinds of things about markers and monuments.)

I continue to receive cards and letters daily from people telling me what a big difference April made in their lives. I miss her so much. She was my whole world; we had so many dreams, so much more living to do. We were so close. The transplant went perfectly, April felt better than she had in years, and we thought it opened the door to a whole new future. And then 20 days later she was gone. It is so unfair.

News Flash

April and I were featured on CBS 11 TV on February 9, 2010 as we prepared for the transplant. The station promised to keep viewers updated on our story, and tonight they aired another story about us - one with a much more tragic ending than anyone could have imagined. But CBS 11 News kept a positive tone and told about the April Elizabeth Gillespie Memorial Scholarship Fund I am establishing in her memory [click for more information].

Many, many thanks to Carol Cavazos and CBS11 News for their interest and kindness. I hope it will increase awareness and interest in organ donation, and help raise funds for the scholarship to promote the work April held so dear, to help the children she loved so much. This story will remain forever unfinished.

Rob and April, shortly after the transplant

I Corinthians 13:7-8

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love is eternal.

A Fitting Tribute

Please see the Funeral page for information about April's funeral.

The final word(s)

April had amazing insight and I learned countless things about life from her. She taught me to do one thing that really paid off, and I want to share it with you. April always believed it was very important to end all of our encounters with "I love you." Any time we parted or ended a phone conversation, we always said "I love you." Just in case something happened to one of us, we would go out on those words. Even when we were mad or disagreeing about something, we still had to say "I love you." That was the rule--no exceptions. And I had to agree with her, it was a good idea. I spoke to April on the phone about 2-3 hours before she passed away. We had a nice chat and ended it the usual way--"I love you." We had no idea it would be our final conversation. But since we followed the rule, the last words we ever said to each other were "I love you." Thanks, April, for making that rule.

The April Elizabeth Gillespie Memorial Scholarship Fund

I am establishing a nursing scholarship in memory of April. I know April would be proud to help her colleagues advance their nursing careers. She was so much of an inspiration and a role model to her colleagues.

Read more about plans for the scholarship fund here.

You can make contributions at any Plains Capital Bank location, or by mail to me or to:
Plains Capital Bank
3707 Camp Bowie Blvd., Suite 100
Fort Worth, TX 76107
(817)258-3888
Specify the Robert Gillespie account for the April Gillespie Scholarship Fund.

If you prefer to donate to your favorite charity in her memory, that will also be a fitting and welcome tribute to her.
Thank you for your support!

Our favorite memories

Please click on "comments" and share your thoughts and favorite memories of April!

What two teddy bears taught me about life

April loved teddy bears. She really loved teddy bears. (Simple things made her really happy.) We have lots and lots of them all over the house. Too many, I always thought. So when I went looking for Valentine's Day goodies I thought this would be a good year to skip buying any new bears. Maybe a couple of very small (about 4") bears, but that's all. That was much more practical, I thought, and I'm a practical guy. We don't need more of those big 16" bears cluttering up the house. She has plenty of those already.

But I saw two large bears that were really really cute. Much nicer than the small ones. April would love them. I knew that for sure. I knew those were the very ones she would pick if she were shopping. (Why two bears? April always wanted her bears in husband and wife couples. You couldn't have single, lonely bears.) But we don't need more bears, and I don't want to spend the extra money. Gotta be frugal. I've spent enough with other gifts.

Then a voice inside me said, oh, hell, get the bears. $10 each - big deal - less than a dinner out. They will make April really happy. And she's your wife. And she's been through a lot and is about to undergo surgery. Just shut up, buy the bears and make her happy.

I bought the bears. I sneaked them into the hospital and gave them to her the morning of the transplant as we were preparing for surgery. She loved them. She really loved them, as I knew she would. I'll never forget the huge smile on her face.

Little did I know they would be the last bears I would ever give her.

I am soooo glad I did that. If I had gone cheap and skipped the bears I never would have forgiven yourself. Thank God for that little voice that steered me in the right direction. So folks, spoil the people you love. Do what you know makes them happy. You won't regret it.

Just ask the bears.

The Transplant Blog

For a happier page, read about April's kidney transplant at:

AprilAndRobsTransplant.blogspot.com