Update: 18 September 2011
Cemetery-Cam: Fall flowers
Update: 22 June 2011
Cemetery-Cam: July 4
Update: 12 June 2011
Cemetery-Cam: Spring
Update: 18 April 2011
Cemetery-Cam: July 4
Update: 12 June 2011
Cemetery-Cam: Spring
Update: 18 April 2011
Cemetery-Cam: Easter
Update: 4 February 2011
Cemetery-Cam: The Great Blizzard
Update: 17 January 2011
Cemetery-Cam: Valentine's Day
Here are the latest decorations...
Update: 29 November 2010
Cemetery-Cam: Christmas Time
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Update: 15 September 2010
The monument is in place!!
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FYI: A flat stone or bronze memorial flush with the ground is called a “marker,” while an upright memorial above the ground is called a “monument.”
I wanted a beautiful and appropriate tribute to April, one that would not only list basic information but also tell about a story about her as a person and celebrate our love. I sought a distinctive monument, a true one-of-a-kind, unlike any other, yet not pretentious—just like April. I also wanted the monument to be a positive memory, focusing on happy times together and the joy of our love. I took inspiration from a verse I chose for bookmarks given out at her funeral:
I’d like the memory of me to be a happy one.
I’d like to leave an after glow of smiles when life is done.
I’d like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways,
Of happy times and laughing times, and bright and sunny days.
I’d like the tears of those who grieve, to dry before the sun
Of happy memories that I leave when life is done.
I think this expresses how April would feel. To do this I spent a lot of time reflecting on our lives and loves, and called on the Victorian symbolism attributed to flowers.
April loved all things Christmas, and we used a Christmas theme at our December wedding, so the monument contains many Christmas images. The monument is carved in a two-ton slab of India Red granite, a unique variety prized for its deep red color and tight grain. Quarried only in India, the stone was custom ordered and required a 3 months to ship across the ocean. The red signifies true love and hints at Christmas and Valentine’s Day. April loved deep red, choosing it for one of our wedding colors and for most of our upholstered furniture.
April also loved gingerbread people, and a gingerbread couple holding hands forms the focal point of the front of the monument. The husband holds a single red rose, symbolizing love and enduring passion. The wife holds white lilies, representing Easter and the Resurrection, and the purity of the soul of the departed. Lilies were also one of April’s favorite flowers. She carried them in her wedding bouquet, and I included them in her casket spray and funeral altar flowers. Both gingerbread people have hearts over their left chests. A branch of mistletoe hangs above the couple…and you know what that means: Kiss!!
Our names and biographical dates appear to the sides of the couple, with our pet names for each other on scrolls just above those. I included April’s maiden name, Tracy, to honor her family and maintain a visual connection to them. This required an additional line, so to maintain symmetry, the corresponding blank space on my side is filled with a decorative calligraphic flourish, which represents my love of writing.
A heart-shaped photograph of occupies the upper left. Note April is wearing a red dress! Our wedding date enclosed in a heart balances it on the opposite side. 
Instead of the usual curved top, I requested a peaked or “gable” top which gives the monument a house-shaped profile. This suggests a gingerbread house and symbolizes that “home is where the heart is,” so wherever we were together was home...and April truly loved her home in Arlington.
The back of the monument depicts a tranquil winter scene, with a snow-couple embracing in front of a gingerbread house and Christmas tree below a starry sky. April loved images like this, and we even had a snow couple on our wedding invitations. The couple on the monument is based on a plate with a vintage design April particularly liked. The snowman wears an engineer’s cap, a subtle reference to my passion for trains. That, and an airplane in the sky far above them, represent our love of travel and the many wonderful trips we took together, by plane, train or car. One brilliant star stands out in the night sky, recalling the Star of Bethlehem, but also to me, representing that April was and is the shining star and guiding light of my life.
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The sky displays a scripture read at our wedding, the final lines of I Corinthians 13:1-8:
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love is eternal.
Holly leaves, representing domestic happiness, and holly berries, symbolic of Christmas joy, frame the lower corners of the monument. April and I loved to give messages to each other with candy conversation hearts. Each year she bought many brands and sizes of hearts to have a large assortment of messages to share. A sampling of those hearts and their messages rests in the snow below the passage about love.
I designed the basic concept myself, but Sam at Memorial Monuments transformed my crude sketches into beautiful original artwork and perfected the design. He very patiently worked with me through many iterations of the design, ultimately spending at least 20-30 hours in design work, for which I am ever grateful. The artists used high and low relief and different etching techniques to achieve a wide variety of shades and effects. I believe it is a fitting tribute to a most special person.
Update: 6 August 2010
The stone has arrived...A giant slab of polished granite finally arrived from India this week. I took a look at it today - it's gorgeous. Now it goes to the workshop to be carved. The monument should be in the cemetery in 2-3 weeks! Oh, and the grass has grown out to fill the gaps - you can barely tell where the sod was placed.
Update: 9 May 2010
An uncanny coincidence...Today I visited the cemetery, as I do every Sunday, and I noticed they have placed sod over the grave site. This is a big improvement, although I can't understand why they didn't sod the other half to the left. It's just an island of sod surrounded by a sea of clay. Anyway, notice the flower arrangement in the background, on the grave directly behind April's.
Let's zoom in on those flowers. There's a little note attached. What does it say?
I know this is a coincidence, but what are the odds of that? Even the way the "A" is written (a cursive A while printing) is the same way my April wrote her name.
I miss you too, my love. More than anyone can imagine.
Update: 18 April 2010
Below I mentioned the monument for Meredith Hatch, born on 12/15/69 along with April, died at nearly the same age, and buried just a few steps away from her. Through the wonders of Google, I found that we have even more in common. Like April, she died suddenly and unexpectedly. More importantly, Meredith was a well-loved, well known person, a successful professional and a loving wife, devoted to the care of children. Meredith's legacy is a grant program that promotes health and fitness for elementary school children.
Update: 10 April 2010
The temporary marker is in place!
April's temporary marker.
Initial post: 2 April 2010
April's body rests at Emerald Hills Memorial Park in Kennedale, Texas, just 3.8 miles from our home. I had very little time to select a cemetery, but to my amazement, everything worked out beautifully. I did not know about this cemetery before, but I thought April would like being buried close to the home she loved, and it would allow me to visit frequently without any difficulty. When I entered Emerald Hills, the flowers immediately grabbed my attention. I saw flowers everywhere, on practically every grave, an explosion of color. I have never seen a cemetery in which so many of the graves have flowers on them. Then I heard the wind chimes. Chimes tinkle from limbs of almost every tree; some trees hold several wind chimes. The plots I found sit just a few feet from a pond and waterfall. The multitude of trees and flowers, and the sounds of falling water and melodic windchimes, create a beautifully tranquil environment. To top it all off, a bronze statue of two children on a park bench stands right next to the pond. This fit so perfectly, since April loved children so much. I knew immediately this was the right place. I also bought the adjacent plot, so one day I will be buried next to her. Train tracks run nearby, and you can hear the trains go by. I like the idea of my resting place being close to trains.
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Flowers, flowers everywhere.
The children statue with the waterfall and pond in the background.
Close-up of the children.
April's grave the day after the funeral, with the flower arrangements previously on easels placed over it. The flower arrangements in vases were donated to Cook Children's to brighten patients' rooms.
By Easter, the cut flowers had wilted and were removed. I placed a small bouquet of tulips and an Easter basket filled with the goodies she loved: Jelly beans, robin eggs, Jordan almonds and most importantly, a white chocolate bunny.
The cemetery claims it will place a temporary bronze marker on the site soon. In the meantime, I placed a vase of flowers with her name on it to identify the spot. I ordered the permanent monument the day before Easter. I designed it myself, and I promise you will not see another monument like it! It will be a beauty--very unique and very, very appropriate. You'll see. A very special person deserves a very special monument. It will take 3-6 months to ship the stone from India, carve it here and place it on the grave. I'll post pictures once it's in place.
Just a few plots away I noticed a monument for a Meredith Hatch, described as a "beloved wife," who shared a birthday--both day and year--with April. She died at 38, almost the same age as April. Whoever her husband is out there, you are my kindred spirit and I hope you have found peace.
On another monument I found this beautiful epitath for a couple married 48 years. This describes my feelings perfectly, and I cry every time I read it:
Larry and Joan Thibideau must have had a love very much like ours. Blessings to you two.
.
Just a few plots away I noticed a monument for a Meredith Hatch, described as a "beloved wife," who shared a birthday--both day and year--with April. She died at 38, almost the same age as April. Whoever her husband is out there, you are my kindred spirit and I hope you have found peace.
On another monument I found this beautiful epitath for a couple married 48 years. This describes my feelings perfectly, and I cry every time I read it:
We’ve shared our lives these many years. You’ve held my hand, you’ve held my heart.
So many blessings, so few tears – yet for a moment, we must part.
The memories you’ve given me are times I’ve shared with my best friend.
I’ll hold them, love, right here they’ll be, until we share our lives again.
Larry and Joan Thibideau must have had a love very much like ours. Blessings to you two.
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