Monday, July 26, 2010

April and Her Beautiful Life

April Elizabeth Tracy was born on December 15, 1969 in Alvin, Texas, the eighth of nine children. She attended Alvin High School and earned two degrees from Alvin Community College. As a nurse, she worked at the University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston, Children’s Hospital of Austin (now Dell Children’s), Seattle Children’s Hospital, Swedish Hospital (Seattle), Driscoll Children’s Hospital, Banner Children’s Hospital (Phoenix), Loma Linda Children’s Hospital, and Cincinnati Children’s Hospital. But her favorite job was at Children’s Medical Center in Dallas. She spent most of her career working with children with cancer and/or hematopoietic stem cell transplants. She also worked with terminal AIDS patients, surgery patients, urology patients and many others. April spent many summers at Texas Lions Camp, as a camper, a counselor and a nurse. April and I met there in 1993 and we quickly fell in love. We married at Grace Episcopal Church in Galveston on December 14, 1996. April called me her “guardian angel” while I called her my “summer miracle.” We enjoyed 16 years as friends and soulmates, 13 of those years as husband and wife.

April loved to travel, and she visited Germany, England, Hungary, Mexico, Canada and dozens of cities around the United States. She worked as a travel nurse at times to allow her to explore new places. She loved shopping and showed an amazing skill for finding bargains. She enjoyed collecting, reading and just spending time with family and friends. She loved Disneyland, flowers, scented candles, candy hearts, clothes, shoes and all things pink. She loved to decorate for and celebrate holidays, especially Christmas. Snowmen and gingerbread men held a special place in her heart.

April was a beautiful person with a generous and loving heart. She loved children and was passionate about her work with them. She believed working with children with cancer, many of whom were dying, was a challenge and an opportunity to help and comfort those who needed it the most. Her high ideals and her effervescent personality inspired all those around her. With her brilliant smile and sharp wit she could engage even the most difficult patients and parents. She never forgot that underneath everything was human being in pain whom she could comfort. She supported many charities and donated bags of groceries to the food bank every month.

April fought diabetes, kidney failure and several other serious medical problems with courage and dignity, never asking for sympathy or special treatment. She remained fearless in the face of all her difficulties. April never wasted her time worrying; she was too busy living, and wouldn't let fear get in her way. Her deep faith and quiet spirituality helped her through many hard times. Her dream was to get a kidney transplant and a pancreas transplant, and then go back to the job that she loved and continue traveling around the world. April received a kidney transplant from me on February 10, 2010. The transplant worked perfectly and she felt better than she had in years. She was absolutely delighted with her new lease on life, eagerly planning to renew our wedding vows on the beach in Maui on her 15th anniversary in 2011, tour Italy, and take a train trip across Canada, among many other dreams. She hoped to advocate for organ donation, and educate and support transplant recipients.

April dreamed big, worked tirelessly, lived fearlessly, and loved unconditionally. She blessed me with the best 16 years of my life. In her arms I found a comfort, contentment and peace I never knew was possible. I could fill endless pages with what she taught me about life and love. Her love will fill my heart to overflowing forever.

In our work in pediatrics we often cared for children who ultimately died. Some of these children touched so many lives that we felt they did more in a few short years than many people do in a lifetime lasting decades. In her 40 years, April accomplished more than many people would in a century.

So go now and hug your loved ones tightly. Buy your special someone flowers. Live and love every day to the fullest; don't wait for tomorrow, because you never know how much time you have together. That is how April lived, and we are all richer for it. May your memories of her always bring a smile to your face.

...It's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
-Abraham Lincoln

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Unfinished Dreams


April and I liked to make "gift certificates" for each other. They could be for something small like a favorite dinner at home or a movie, or as big as a trip across the world. Many of these things we already planned to do anyway, but "giving" them to each other made them feel more special, as they became gifts of love.

Last Christmas she made me an exceptionally large number of certificates, the most ever, all in holiday shapes. They formed an inventory of our hopes and dreams as we looked toward our future together. I felt especially moved by the coupon to renew our wedding vows in Maui in 2011. She had drawn check boxes and of course I checked "Yes." She was so excited about that trip. Then we had the trip to New York to see the Thanksgiving Day parade in person. A camping trip in Colorado. A trans-Canadian train excursion. A tour of Italy. A nearby camping trip. The tickets for so many big dreams show April's optimistic outlook and her determination to acheive great things. Besides those, I have stacks of tickets for dinners, backrubs, breakfast in bed, and so on. It breaks my heart knowing I'll never get to redeem them. But now they are a cherished memento of her love for me.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Easter Time

All of the funeral flowers are gone, so I put a vase with some pink roses and an Easter basket on her grave. It is still unmarked so I wrote her name on the vase. I will badger the cemetery about getting the temporary marker in place tomorrow. I am still designing the permanent monument. It needs to be very special, like April, so I will take plenty of time to get the design just perfect. I have visited several monument stores and have looked around at markers in different cemeteries for inspiration. I have some really neat ideas. (FYI, a "marker" is flush with the ground and a "monument" is upright. I am learning all kinds of things about markers and monuments.)

I continue to receive cards and letters daily from people telling me what a big difference April made in their lives. I miss her so much. She was my whole world; we had so many dreams, so much more living to do. We were so close. The transplant went perfectly, April felt better than she had in years, and we thought it opened the door to a whole new future. And then 20 days later she was gone. It is so unfair.



Saturday, March 20, 2010

News Flash

April and I were featured on CBS 11 TV on February 9, 2010 as we prepared for the transplant. The station promised to keep viewers updated on our story, and tonight they aired another story about us - one with a much more tragic ending than anyone could have imagined. But CBS 11 News kept a positive tone and told about the April Elizabeth Gillespie Memorial Scholarship Fund I am establishing in her memory [click for more information].

Many, many thanks to Carol Cavazos and CBS11 News for their interest and kindness. I hope it will increase awareness and interest in organ donation, and help raise funds for the scholarship to promote the work April held so dear, to help the children she loved so much. This story will remain forever unfinished.


Rob and April, shortly after the transplant

Friday, March 12, 2010

I Corinthians 13:7-8

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love is eternal.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Sunday, March 7, 2010

The final word(s)

April had amazing insight and I learned countless things about life from her. She taught me to do one thing that really paid off, and I want to share it with you. April always believed it was very important to end all of our encounters with "I love you." Any time we parted or ended a phone conversation, we always said "I love you." Just in case something happened to one of us, we would go out on those words. Even when we were mad or disagreeing about something, we still had to say "I love you." That was the rule--no exceptions. And I had to agree with her, it was a good idea. I spoke to April on the phone about 2-3 hours before she passed away. We had a nice chat and ended it the usual way--"I love you." We had no idea it would be our final conversation. But since we followed the rule, the last words we ever said to each other were "I love you." Thanks, April, for making that rule.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

The April Elizabeth Gillespie Memorial Scholarship Fund

I am establishing a nursing scholarship in memory of April. I know April would be proud to help her colleagues advance their nursing careers. She was so much of an inspiration and a role model to her colleagues.

Read more about plans for the scholarship fund here.

You can make contributions at any Plains Capital Bank location, or by mail to me or to:
Plains Capital Bank
3707 Camp Bowie Blvd., Suite 100
Fort Worth, TX 76107
(817)258-3888
Specify the Robert Gillespie account for the April Gillespie Scholarship Fund.

If you prefer to donate to your favorite charity in her memory, that will also be a fitting and welcome tribute to her.
Thank you for your support!

Our favorite memories

Please click on "comments" and share your thoughts and favorite memories of April!



What two teddy bears taught me about life



April loved teddy bears. She really loved teddy bears. (Simple things made her really happy.) We have lots and lots of them all over the house. Too many, I always thought. So when I went looking for Valentine's Day goodies I thought this would be a good year to skip buying any new bears. Maybe a couple of very small (about 4") bears, but that's all. That was much more practical, I thought, and I'm a practical guy. We don't need more of those big 16" bears cluttering up the house. She has plenty of those already.

But I saw two large bears that were really really cute. Much nicer than the small ones. April would love them. I knew that for sure. I knew those were the very ones she would pick if she were shopping. (Why two bears? April always wanted her bears in husband and wife couples. You couldn't have single, lonely bears.) But we don't need more bears, and I don't want to spend the extra money. Gotta be frugal. I've spent enough with other gifts.

Then a voice inside me said, oh, hell, get the bears. $10 each - big deal - less than a dinner out. They will make April really happy. And she's your wife. And she's been through a lot and is about to undergo surgery. Just shut up, buy the bears and make her happy.

I bought the bears. I sneaked them into the hospital and gave them to her the morning of the transplant as we were preparing for surgery. She loved them. She really loved them, as I knew she would. I'll never forget the huge smile on her face.

Little did I know they would be the last bears I would ever give her.

I am soooo glad I did that. If I had gone cheap and skipped the bears I never would have forgiven yourself. Thank God for that little voice that steered me in the right direction. So folks, spoil the people you love. Do what you know makes them happy. You won't regret it.

Just ask the bears.

The Transplant Blog

For a happier page, read about April's kidney transplant at:

AprilAndRobsTransplant.blogspot.com